What Now?
by Jaden Oliver
Summary: Takes place right after season two. It deals with the Monte situation. Does something else happen? What happens now? What will Lena do? Will Stef find out? Will Monte say anything?-A epic twist towards the end! -No car accident, No Ana
1. Chapter 1

She saw that smile, that twinkle in her eyes. Her heart broke over again. If she finds out it will crush her. _It was an accident, it was unexpected. Should I tell her?_ Lena thought looking at Stef across the table.

"Will you pass the salad?" Lena's heart skipped a beat when she heard Stef's voice. She snapped out of her worry and passed the salad bowl down the table. Everyone was giggling about something but Lena hadn't caught it.

"Are you okay love?" Stef asked.

"Yes babe, I'm fine. I'm just tired." She replied with a small smile.

* * *

"Lights out in ten guys." Stef said before she closed the door to their room. She walked over to Lena and wrapped her arms around her from behind. "I love you." Stef whispered into Lena's neck. "And I love you." Lena replied. Her whole world was falling apart on the inside. She was terrified when it would actually fall apart in reality.

* * *

Lena had the kids walk to school. She was half an hour late now and had been sitting in her car for the past five minutes. _I have to go in. I cannot avoid this._ But she had not had a chance to think about what happened yesterday. All she could think about was Stef and how she would react. Lena wasn't sure how she felt about it. All she knew was that she didn't want to lose her world, her kids, and her wife.

Walking through the school she could hear the click of her heels echo in the halls and the sound of her heart beat pounding in her ears. After what felt like eternity, she reached the shelter of her office with a sigh of relief.

She had been on the edge of her seat all morning. After each knock on her office door she became less jumpy. While eating her lunch someone knocked on her door. Her heart dropped and her mouth went dry. Before she could manage to say "Come in.", the door opened.

"Hey beautiful." Stef said with a smile, stepping through the door frame. Lena returned the smile as her heart found its rhythm again. Mouth still dry. "Hi, what a wonderful surprise!"

"I figured I would join you for lunch." Stef said leaning over the desk to peck her wife on the cheek."

Their lunch didn't last very long. Lena had already finished but Stef had been called away for work after only eating half the lunch she had brought. The second Stef left there was another knock at the door. "Come in." She said as she collected trash from the surprise lunch date. She heard the door open and saw Monte leaning against the door frame with her arms lightly crossed and a small smile playing across her lips.


	2. Chapter 2

"I want to talk about yesterday." Monte said as she closed the door behind her. "Yes, I think we should talk." Lena said. She sat down behind her desk and put her clammy, shaky hands in her lap. Her mind was racing.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. We both crossed the line." Monte said. "We?" Lena replied wild eyed. "You're the one who kissed me Monte."

Monte pulled a chair up to the corner of Lena's desk. She sat down and put a hand on Lena's knee."You kissed me back Lena, I may have kissed you, but you did kiss me back." Lena shifted in her chair, she crossed her legs so that Monte would move her hand. After the shift Monte put her hand back on Lena's knee.

She was searching Lena's eyes. "You're so beautiful." She said. Lena didn't say anything. She couldn't say anything. _This can't be happening. What is this woman doing?_ She took a deep breath. "Don't say anything Lena, don't ruin this moment." _What moment?! Lena thought. Are we having a moment? Is this a moment?_ Lena was lost for words. _I'm dreaming. That's it. I'm dreaming. I know it. This didn't happen._

After that last thought Lena let out a little laugh. Monte leaned forward and cupped Lena's cheek and ran her thumb across her lips. "It's okay" She whispered. "Just let go." Monte leaned closer and kissed her. She pulled away but Monte moved her hand from her cheek to the back of her head, tangled in her curly hair. She didn't let her go far. She pulled Lena closer again. "Just be someone else for a moment." She whispered. She kissed Lena again but Lena didn't pull away. She kissed her back. She let go.

Lena let go. She let go of all her worry, and her life. She felt like someone else. A different person. A new person. A new life. A weight had been lifted from her shoulders and she could feel the electricity running through her body.

Their kissed deepened. It was passionate. Lena touched the younger woman's face then rested it on the back of her neck pulling her deeper into the kiss. Monte broke away and stood up, pulling Lena up with her. The curly haired woman took a deep breath but Monte didn't let her think past that. She pulled her close. Another passionate kiss. Hands running over each other's body. Closer.

She could feel Monte's hips pressed against hers. She ran her hands down her back, and back up again. She tangled her fingers into the wavy soft hair. It was a battle. A battle of lust. Monte pushed the taller woman up against the wall and trailed kisses along her jaw bone to her neck. Lena's body had taken over her mind. She thought of nothing but the pleasure she felt, the sensations, newness, and the unfamiliar. In this moment Monte felt like a drug. A much needed drug, and she was enjoying the high.

After a few intense moments, hands searching, touching, grabbing. Their bodies still pressed against each other both trying to catch their breath. Monte looked up at Lena who was still pressed against the wall.

The pause was too long; Monte could see a light fade from Lena's eyes. "No, no, no,no." She whispered reaching up to touch Lena's face. "It's okay. Please. You need this." She said in a low whisper. Lena looked down at Monte with a small smile. Her world was coming back to her. "It's nice being someone else for a moment." Monte whispered, searching Lena's eyes.

Lena had to admit. It was nice. She felt like a whole new person in those few moments of passion. She wasn't herself. The Lena she thought she was, would never do anything like this. But her adrenaline was still pumping. She kissed Monte and whispered "It is."

The younger girl smiled and stepped back from Lena. They both smoothed out their cloths and fixed their hair. "I'll see you around." Monte said squeezing Lena's hand before she left.

Lena sighed and ran her hands through her hair again. She smoothed her shirt down one last time to be safe. She was now herself again. She felt like she just watched a movie, she just watched someone that looked like her do things she would never do.


	3. Chapter 3

Lena didn't know what to think. Her wife had just visited her for lunch and five minutes after she left she had her hands all over another woman. Guilt started to wash over her again. Looking back during that time of passion she felt she was replaying someone else's memory. _That wasn't me. I don't even think Monte is that attractive. When I was single I would have never gone for a woman like her._ But it was her. It was her lips and her hands that touched the body of someone else. Lena looked down at her hands as if they were dirty. She replayed the memory again and again. She felt guilty because she had enjoyed it.

* * *

Later that evening all the kids were attending different activities. She ordered pizzas for everyone knowing they would be home at different times. After finishing the paper work she had brought home she finally had a chance to sit down and eat. By this time everyone was home except for Brandon and Stef. She had just finished her second slice when the front door opened. "Hey guys." She heard Stef say as she walked into the house. "In here babe." She replied. Stef walked into the kitchen and smiled at Lena who was sitting with four boxes of pizza in front of her. "Pizza night?" Stef questioned. "Yea, everyone had plans tonight, so I figured pizza would be the easiest solution." Lena said as she stood up to put her plate in the sink. Stef walked over and wrapped her arms around her. "I love pizza nights." She whispered as she kissed Lena's neck. Guilt flooded over Lena. Monte had just kissed that same spot hours before. "And I also love you." Stef said kissing Lena's jaw. Lena turned around. "How was your day baby?"

"Oh it was incredibly boring. A few citations and that's it. Paper work, paper work, and more paper work." Stef said with a sigh as she sat down at the table. _It wasn't me._ Lena kept thinking over and over again. She now believed that it truly wasn't her.

* * *

"Callie made coffee." Stef said as Lena walked into the kitchen the next morning. "I think I'm going to make the coffee making Callie's new chore. What do you think love?" Lena smiled. "I think that's a wonderful idea." She said reaching for the pot. It was a smooth morning. Stef left as Lena loaded her car full of kids, except Brandon who had spent the night with Mike.

* * *

"Jude, your lunch!" She said as they all unloaded themselves from her car and began to walk toward the school. "Thanks Moma." He said taking the bagged lunch from her. Lena smiled as she watched him run to catch up with Callie and the twins.

"You can tell he really loves you." Lena turned her head but she already knew who was speaking to her. Monte was parked two spaces over. "I love him like he's my own." Lena replied watching Monte dig through the trunk of her car. "Can you carry this in for me?" She said pulling box out. "Sure." Lena said moving her purse from her hand to her shoulder. "It's heavy." Monte said as she handed the box over. The box was heavy, very heavy. The younger woman pulled out another box and managed to shut her trunk. They both walked into the school together.

"What's in the boxes?" Lena asked. "Bricks?"

Monte laughed. "No, just some old donated books that I need to sort through before I send them to our library. The kids set up donation boxes in town. I picked these up this morning on my way here. I made the mistake last week by taking a box directly to the library. Well, the librarian.. What's his name?"

"Kylesner. Tom Kylesner." Lena said. "Oh yes, Kilsner, he just put the books right on the shelves." "Kylesner." Lena said again smiling at Monte as they walked into her office. "Where do you want them?" She asked. "My desk is fine." Monte replied.

Lena set her box on the desk, rubbed her back and asked "So what happened?"

"Let's just say the books were fine, but a few dirty magazines made it on the shelves as well." She said with a laugh.

"No way!" Lena said smiling widely. "Yes way, guess who found them?" "Who?" Lena replied quickly. "Old lady, AP French teacher. That's who!" They both laughed together. "Can you imagine the look on her face!?" Monte snorted.

"Are you okay?" Monte asked. "What? Yes, I'm fine." Lena replied.

"I noticed you rubbing your back. Are you okay? Was the box to heavy?"

"It was heavy yes, but I'm fine. I may have slept funny." She said. "That was sweet of you to ask." She added quickly.

"Did I make you blush?" _Oh god. Am I flirting?_

"Yes, you did." Monte said as her blush turned a deeper shade of red. "You make me blush at the mere thought of you Lena."

Lena wasn't sure how to reply. They just stood there looking at each other. Something about Monte's blush made her look exposed.

The office phone rang. "Hello?" Monte answered. "Uh-huh, yes, yes, that's fine. Oh, you can ask her-" Monte said looking at Lena. "She's right here." "Who is it?" mouthed Lena. "Yes, yes, that's great. Okay. Here she is." Monte said holding the phone out for Lena. "It's Mrs. Roberts." Monte said with a smile.

Lena took the phone from Monte, smacking her playfully with her other hand. Mrs. Roberts was a head of fundraising for the school. She was a very nice older lady but she talked a lot. "Hey, Mrs. Roberts. How are you? Oh, I'm fine, thank you for asking-it's when? Does she have the information?" Lena was leaning against the desk, fidgeting with the phone cord. Monte walked up to her, she traced Lena's bare collar bone lightly with her finger. She absentmindedly pushed Monte's hand away and turned around. "Okay, oh, how many people?"

Monte came closer to her from behind, she placed her hands on Lena's waist. Feeling the curves of Lena's body, she could hear her fumble over her words. Monte pushed herself against Lena and ran her hands from Lena's hips, up her shirt over her breast while kissing her neck. Lena took a quick breath and tilted her head to the opposite side giving Monte more skin. "Wow, no, I didn't read that article-" She said. Monte nibbled the curly haired woman's neck, hearing a small moan she sucked on it just a little. She was still standing behind Lena, bodies pressed together; she put both hands on her hips to pull her even closer. Feeling Lena's firm butt pressed into her front. She moved her right hand from Lena's hip to underneath her shirt; she dipped her hand between the top of her skirt and skin. Lena quickly turned around, Monte smiled at her. She pushed herself against Lena's front, hands running underneath the loose fitting shirt.

Monte was too distracted and she didn't hear the other woman hang up the phone. "Monte." Lena whispered. Monte caught the whisper with a kiss. Lena tried to pull away but couldn't. She wanted it. She finally was able to whisper.. "I'm married.


	4. Chapter 4

"You're married and I'm straight." Monte whispered. "But right now you're not married and I'm not so straight. We're different people right here, right now. Someone else just for a little while." She continued. Lena sighed. She was right. "Just for a little while." Lena whispered.

"Back to work." The younger woman said with a smile, stepping away from Lena. "Mrs. Roberts wants us both to come to the conference. I'm sure you understand why?"

Lena sat down in a chair in front of Monte's desk. She ran her hands through her hair and said-"I'm sure it's because you've never attended one."

"Exactly. I'm business and you're education remember? I need you there. She's emailed me the dates, I'll forward them to you. We will be gone four days at the most." Monte had sat down in front of her computer. "Will you be okay away from home?" She said looking over the monitor.

"My house may fall apart, but I'll be fine." She replied with a worried smile. _A few days spent with someone else. "_ I'll need to run this by Stef." She added.

"Of course." Monte said with a smile.

* * *

"Hey babe?" Lena said as Stef brushed her teeth. Both of them getting ready for bed. "Yea?" Stef replied peaking her head out of the bathroom with a mouth full of tooth paste.

"Monte and I have an out of town school fundraiser conference to attend soon. I just wanted to give you a heads up." She said as she crawled into bed. She heard the faucet run then Stef came back into the room dabbing her mouth with her night shirt. "When hon?" She said as she got into the bed. "I'm not sure, Monte told me about it this afternoon. She said she would forward me the email."

"Okay, let me know when you get the dates. Both of you huh?"

"Yea, Monte said it's because she's business and I'm education. She also added that she's never attended a school conference before. I'm not sure if she knows what to expect." Lena said.

"And what will they do without the principle and vice principle? You're going to come back to work and see rubble." Stef said through a laugh.

"I'm sure the dates will fall on a weekend, maybe one day without us at the school." Lena mumbled as she got comfortable. "They can't destroy it in a day right?" She said rolling over.

* * *

"Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday _and_ Monday?" Lena said walking into Monte's office the next morning.

"You'll probably be sick of me by then." The younger woman said without looking up from her work on her desk.

Lena sat down in the chair in front of the desk. "My house will fall apart and this school will be destroyed." She said rubbing her temple.

"We might have leave that Wednesday. For travel." Monte said standing up. She walked over and squatted in front of Lena. She picked up Lena's hand that was resting in her lap. "You don't have to go of you don't want to. Don't get me wrong, I really need you there but I'll understand."

"No, I'll be there. I wouldn't do that to you. It's your first school conference." Lena said reaching forward, running her hand through the younger woman's soft hair. Monte smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

Lena left school early. After lunch she explained to Callie that she would be leaving early to run errands. They would have to walk home or ride with Brandon. She asked her tell the rest of the family.  
She had to clear her mind. _Am I really doing this? Is this whole thing, this situation, is it really happening?_ What hurt the most was Stef's trust. Stef didn't flinch when she told her about the conference. She trusted Lena. She had every right to trust Lena, until now.

 _Why am I doing this?_ Lena kept asking herself.

After two hours of making right turns, circling the city and getting stopped in traffic she realized why. Her life was robotic, dramatic, chaotic, stressful, and familiar. She knew Stef's moves, her looks, her words and her touch. Stef was like an appendage, a part of her. Familiar. Comfortable. Predictable.

When Monte touched her it felt new. Like she'd never been touched or kissed before. She didn't know her moves, her looks, her words or her touch. Monte was new, unfamiliar, and unpredictable. She was like a drug. Alive, Someone else made her feel alive.

It was an epiphany. _How long have I felt this way? Not alive? Robotic? Flat emotions?_

Thinking back over the last few months made Lena angry. Angry at Stef. Stef didn't want a marriage and a wedding, she had already had one. Stef didn't want a baby; she had already had one, plus four additional teenagers. Anything big Lena wanted in their life Stef didn't seem to want or agree to. When she did cave in to Lena's requests, Stef made it unconsciously clear that it wasn't her idea, that it wasn't what she wanted.

Anger was new to Lena. She had always been passive.

* * *

It took her an hour to get back to school. The school day had just ended but Monte's car was still in the parking lot, along with a small handful of other employee cars.

She didn't know what she was doing, but her feet lead her into the school and down the hall toward the offices. She was mad at the world. She stood outside of Monte's office and knocked. She knocked a little harder then she intended to. Monte opened the door with a puzzled look and stepped back inviting Lena in.

She stepped in ahead of Monte and swirled around as soon as she heard the door shut behind her. She pushed Monte up against the door and met her lips with a hard kiss. She pushed her thigh between Monte's legs. The movement surprised the younger woman and she let out a gasp. Lena took advantage of the gasp and trailed rough kisses down to her neck. With a steady movement of her thigh rubbing the right spot between Monte's legs, she trailed her hands up the woman's body. Left arm wrapped around her lower back pushing Monte harder into her thigh, while her right hand found Monte's breast. She moaned and Lena smiled to herself. Monte grabbed Lena's face with both hands and pulled her in for another hard, passionate kiss. She could feel Monte thrusting herself against her thigh. Lena broke the kiss and stepped back. She took both of her hands and pulled her away from the door, leading her to office couch.

Monte sat down looking up at the tall, dark beautiful woman. She craved more. Lena could see it in her eyes. She leaned down and kissed her again, laying Monte back on the couch, now laying on top of her. Lena's hips between Monte's legs. She swiftly unbuttoned Monte's blouse with one hand while still kissing the beautiful woman underneath her. She opened the shirt exposing her breasts. Lena ran her right hand over one feeling Monte's nipple harden underneath. She gently squeezed her breast, Monte let out a moan. Lena lowered herself and kissed around the bare breast, teasing then finally nibbling and sucking her nipple. She looked up from where she was, Monte's eyes were closed. Lena trailed her right hand down the younger woman's stomach, then lower over her skirt. Monte's eyes still closed. Lena leaned forward and kissed her as her hand passed the skirt to pull it up. She slipped her hand between Monte's legs and pushed her panties to one side. Another gasp. Lena could feel how wet she was, she found what she was looking for and gently rubbed.

Lena watched as Monte, eyes closed, moaned and moved her head from one side to the other-biting her lip. She rubbed a little faster with more pressure. Another moan, Lena slipped her fingers inside and caught the next moan with a kiss. Monte bucked her hips in motion with Lena. She could feel her get tight, Lena thrust harder and faster. Monte tangled her hands in Lena's hair losing control, her legs started to shake. She was almost there. Lena thrusted deeper and harder. This sent the younger woman over the edge. Her whole body trembled for a moment. She had reached her high. Lena slowed her movement then pulled out. She looked at the woman underneath her whose eyes were still closed.

"You okay?" Lena whispered as she kissed Monte's neck.


	6. Chapter 6

"Yes, I'm okay." Monte whispered as she wrapped her arms around Lena. "That was amazing. Where did that come from?" She added in a whisper. "I'm someone else. Remember?" Lena replied.

* * *

"Hey." She said as an announcement when she walked into the house. "Hey Moma." Came a reply from the living room. It was Brandon. "Where's Mom?" Lena asked looking around. "She's outside grilling chicken and salmon for dinner." He said, not looking away from the TV. "Well, if she comes inside soon tell her I'm taking a quick shower." Lena said as she headed up stairs.

She knew she smelt like Monte. Both Monte and Stef had very distinctive smells. She could smell Monte in the car on her way home. She finally realized the smell had clung to her shirt and skin.

 _I completely crossed the line._ She thought as she started the shower. She checked the water. Warm not hot yet. She grabbed a towel and hung it on the hook close to the shower. She put her hair in a bun and checked the water again. Perfect. As she finished undressing she heard the bedroom door open and shut. In a panic she jumped into the shower. She heard someone say something but she couldn't make it out. She grabbed body wash and quickly poured it into her hand. "Hey babe." Stef said entering the bathroom. "Hey." Lena replied as she lathered her body in the flowery scent. "B said your grilling out tonight. Thank you for cooking." She said as she turned around in the shower to rinse all the soap off. "Are you okay love? Callie said you left school early today."

"I had a few things I had to do. I ran out of ink for my printer, I also had to mail a few things off to Mrs. Roberts. I ended up back at school for a while." She said through the shower.

"Okay, just checking in. Dinner is done. Are you almost finished?"

Lena turned the water off. "Yes babe, I'll be down in a few."

* * *

Lena couldn't sleep that night. A part of her felt guilty while another part of her didn't. She didn't understand why she felt so split.

Stef's strong arm was wrapped around her waist, she made her feel safe. Without her, it wouldn't be home. She pulled one of Stef's hands up and kissed her soft pale skin then held it close to her chest. After a while Lena rolled over, facing her sleeping wife. She traced Stef's face lightly with the tips of her fingers. She ran her thumb across Stef's lips. Familiar. She new every line, every eyelash, and every freckle of her beautiful face. She watched her sleep. She used to watch her sleep all the time. While sleeping, Stef looked so soft, so breakable and so vulnerable. The blonde rolled over, Lena followed her. She pulled her close and wrapped her arm around Stef's waist. She kissed her neck while breathing in, she loved the way Stef smelt. Familiar.


	7. Chapter 7

Two weeks had passed. Monte stole a look, a touch and a kiss here and there. They both had been very busy. Lena was growing more and more uncomfortable. Apart of her still enjoyed it, enjoyed the rush, another part of her was angry that she enjoyed it. She had become two different people-someone else.

* * *

"I'm going to miss you love." Stef said sitting on their bed, watching her wife pack for her trip. Lena's plane left in a few hours. "I can't remember the last time we were apart for this long. Five whole days? I don't know what I'm going to do without you." Stef said as she reached for Lena pulling her in. She looked down at the beautiful blonde and ran a hand through her soft hair. "You're going to enjoy the whole bed to yourself." She said looking down, into Stef's blue eyes. They kissed tenderly.

* * *

Later that evening Stef and Lena walked into the airport together. Stef had Lena's carry on over one shoulder, and pulled her suitcase behind her. They reached the check in counter.

As her luggage was being weighed Lena heard Monte's voice. She looked to her right and saw her standing with the next attendant one space over. They made eye contact which caused Monte to blush. "All checked in." Stef said as she grabbed Lena's hand, intertwining their fingers. They walked over to the security check point together. "I'm going to miss you." Stef whispered pulling Lena close, she wrapped her arms around her partner's waist. They embraced. Lena's cheek rested against Stef's head. As she inhaled Stef's scent her heart skipped a beat. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment. Stef looked up at Lena, "I love you." She whispered. "And I love you." Lena whispered back, kissing Stef.

"Hey," Stef said looking over Lena's shoulder. Lena looked over her shoulder and saw Monte. "Take good care of my wife." Stef said as Monte walked up. Monte replied with a nod. She and Lena left the blonde to walk through security together. Lena kept glancing back at Stef. It was an airport tradition of theirs to always stay, until the one waiting could no longer see the other. She glanced again as she placed her shoes in the bin. Monte in her sight as well, Stef in the distance. Every time she stole a glance, looking for Stef she had to look past Monte, over her shoulder. She wished her last look of Stef didn't have Monte in it. She waved one last time, knowing she wouldn't be able to see her after she stepped through the metal detector. Stef blew her a kiss, then walked away.

Lena collected her items from the bins, shoes in hand she found the nearest seat. She sat down to put her shoes back on. Monte sat beside her, doing the same. "Can I see your ticket?" Monte asked. "I want to make sure we're on the same flight." Lena handed her ticket to the younger woman and watched as she compared them both. "Everything's the same and it looks like we're sitting together also."She said with a smile as she stood up. They found their gate and checked the departure time. 'Delayed.' They were already an hour and a half early. Monte sighed-"Do you want to get something to eat?" She asked.

After passing up a few fast food places they found a small restaurant. They sat at a table for two, looking over the menu. The waitress came over to introduce herself; she asked if they were ready to place a drink order. "I would like a glass of red wine." Monte said, eyes darting over the menu trying to find a wine list. The waitress listed off the red wines the restaurant carried. Monte selected a Cabernet. "I'll take the same." Lena added. "Would you ladies like to purchase a bottle? If you each have more than one glass it would be more economical to purchase the bottle." Lena looked at Monte and gave her a 'that's fine' nod. "Yes." Monte said. "And two glasses of water please." She added.

"I always forget to ask for water. Thank you." Lena said looking over her menu, smiling at the brunette. Monte's face flushed. "You always blush." "I've never had a blushing problem until I met you." Monte said not looking up from her menu. Lena smiled. No matter how confused she felt, it still felt nice to make someone blush.

They took their time looking over the menu. As they finished their first glass of wine the waitress came over to refill their glasses. "Are you ready to order?" She asked. They both decided on a few appetizers to share. "Would you like another bottle?" The waitress asked holding the empty one. "Yes thank you." Monte said handing her the menus.

"It says the flight will be landing in ten minutes." Monte said as she took her seat back at the table. They had just finished their food and they were working on their last glass of wine. "We have time to finish up here; they've got to unload the plane." Lena said taking a sip of her wine as Monte waved the waitress over. "One check?" She asked. "Yes, I'll take it." Monte said before Lena could interject. "Thank you, you didn't have to do that."

* * *

"Do you mind taking the window seat?" Monte asked. "Not at all." Lena replied. "Good. I hate flying." Monte said letting Lena into the seat isle. "You hate flying?" She said as she sat down. "You were a 'business woman', lots of travel. Correct?" She said laughing. "Yes and that's the only thing I do not miss about that job."

"Well, just try to sleep."

"That's why I ordered wine." Monte said trying to find her lap belt.

The plane took off smoothly, but Lena could tell that Monte was very nervous. Her knuckles were white from holding onto the arm rests. "Are you okay?" She asked. "Yes." Came a whispered reply. The brunette's eyes were closed. "Let me know if you need anything." Lena said turning to look out the window.

The flight attendant came around offering refreshments. "Red wine please." Monte said. "The same." Lena added.

"I feel a little better."

"You should." Lena laughed.

Monte fell asleep during the flight. Her head rested on Lena's shoulder. She looked over at her every now and then to make sure she was still sleeping. She did look very beautiful. Her attraction for Monte had grown over the past few weeks. She caught herself glancing over at the younger woman often and not taking her eyes off of her when she walked away.

* * *

"One room?" Lena said with a worried look.

"Double beds." The gentleman behind the counter of the hotel added.

"Can we make it two rooms?" Lena asked.

"The double has already been paid for. You're more than welcome to purchase an additional room." He said without looking up. _I can't afford a room for four nights._ "No, its okay. Thanks."

Monte walked back up. She had gone to the restroom while Lena got them checked in. "Ready?" She said. "One room, two beds." Lena said giving her a key. She knew it wouldn't bother the younger woman like it bothered her. She followed Monte into the elevator, letting her lead the way to their room.


	8. Chapter 8

"Which bed would you like? Monte asked as they entered the room.

"That one if that's okay." Lena said motioning to the one the farthest away from the hotel door. "I don't like being near the door."

Monte put her purse and luggage on the nearest bed. Lena walked past her and did the same. Lena turned around looking for a chest of drawers. "There is only one dresser." Monte said before she could. "You take the top two since you're taller." They both unpacked and organized their belongings bumping into each other several times. "I'm sorry" she said. _She's going to think I did that on purpose._ Monte didn't say anything.

"Do you mind if I shower?" Monte asked. "I'll be quick, I'm just not feeling very well."

"No, I don't mind. Are you okay?"

"I think I'll feel better after I shower." She said as she headed toward the bathroom.

Lena heard her start the shower. She sat on her bed for a minute then realized she hadn't talked to Stef. She pulled her phone out of her purse and dialed Stef's cell. No answer. She tried again with no answer. She dialed the house phone. "Hey Moma!" It was Jesus. "Hey baby. Whatcha up to?" "I had practice today. It's been a long day." He said. "Is Mom around?" There was a pause and the phone sounded like it was in the pocket of a wind breaker. "Hey love! How was your flight?" "It was delayed, we just got to the hotel." Lena wasn't sure if she should tell Stef about the single room. "We need teach our son phone etiquette." She added. "Well love, he's not used to talking on the phone. We're old remember? They text. We talk." Stef said laughing. "Hey babe, I tried to call your cell. Will you please keep it on you while I'm away?" "What do you mean? It's right here in my pocket-Oh. Yes and I'll turn the ringer on also." Lena could hear her fumbling. "It's all set." "Okay, thank you. I'm going to let you go, it's been a long day. I'm going to shower and then lay down. I love you." "I love you too, I'll talk to you tomorrow." They said their good byes and hung up.

Lena lightly knocked on the bathroom door."Monte?" No reply. "Monte? Are you okay?" She said a little louder. "I'm fine. I'm almost done." "Would you like me to go get some water for you?" "Yes please, thank you Lena."

Lena grabbed her wallet out of her purse, put the hotel key in her pocket and told Monte she would be right back. She headed out the door and took the elevator down to the lobby. "Where's the vending machine?" She asked the man at the front desk. "There is one around the corner and one on every floor. Lena went back up to her floor and walked past her room. The vending machine was at the end of the hall in a nook. She bought four waters.

The shower was still going when she got back. She knocked again. "I'm back." The shower cut off. She heard Monte pull the curtain. Lena was putting two of the waters in the fridge when Monte walked out of the bathroom in a towel dripping wet. She hadn't dried off. She sat on the bed. "Monte?"

"I'm okay, I just got too hot." Lena handed her a bottle of water. After a few sips of water the younger woman seemed to be doing better. "Thank you."

"Just let me know if I can do anything for you." Lena said worried. "Will you be okay while I shower?" Monte blushed. "You take care of everyone Lena, I'll be okay." She wasn't sure how to reply so she didn't. She grabbed her pajamas and walked into the bathroom. She pinned her hair up before she got into the shower to rinse the day away. She didn't take long; the bathroom was still very steamy from Monte's shower. _No wonder she got too hot._ She dried herself off and quickly got dressed.

Monte was asleep in her towel, still holding the water bottle when she came out of the bathroom. Lena smiled as she gently took the bottle out of her hand. She pulled the top cover from her bed and covered Monte with it. She then got into her own bed, under the second blanket. She lay on her side and watched the brunette sleep.

* * *

She had slept on her side facing Monte all night. When she opened her eyes she saw that the other girl had been watching her sleep. "How are you feeling?" She said, readjusting her pillow so she could see Monte better. "I'm feeling much better. Thank you for taking care of me. Did you sleep well?"

"I slept okay, not the best night's sleep, but not the worst." Lena said.

Monte sat up tucking her towel around her. "I'm going to go get coffee. Would you like a cup? Or maybe tea if they have it?"

"Coffee would be great." She smiled.

Monte rolled out of bed and squatted to grab clothes from her drawer. She turned away from Lena and got dressed. Lena watched as she pulled her panties up under her towel. Once they were on she tossed her towel on her bed. Still facing away from her with Lena still watching. Monte had a beautiful body. She was a little muscular but soft. She pulled on some loose fitting pants and a tee shirt. "I'll be right back."

* * *

"I really want to get out of this building." Monte said as she pushed the button for the elevator. Their conference was being held in their hotel, on the bottom floor. They had attended the meetings all day, the fundraiser campaign provided a catered lunch but both the women thought it was terrible. After five more hours of lecture they left. "Let's go out and get dinner." Lena suggested as the elevator door opened.

They called a cab from their hotel room and were soon on their way. "Anywhere is good." Monte said to the cab driver as they got down town. "We'll walk from here."

Compared to California the out of state evening air was crisp for them both. The wind blew gently as they walked down the side walk passing small locally owned stores. "Is there any kind of food you don't like?" Monte asked. "I like just about anything as long as it's not junk food." Lena replied as they crossed the street. They walked for a while, passing a few nice looking restaurants. Both of the women needed to stretch their legs. After about twenty minutes they retraced their path. They agreed on a little restaurant that looked like it had a piano bar type atmosphere. Low key and quiet.

"You're hard to read." Monte said. Lena looked up from her menu. "You're not the first to say so." She smiled. "Are you enjoying your time away?" Monte asked. "I've got a lot on my mind." Lena replied not looking up. They were sitting side by side at the bar. Monte still had her head turned watching Lena as she aimlessly scanned the menu. "What's on your mind?" She asked. "Everything." Lena sighed. Monte waved the bartender over and asked for two glasses of red wine. "Well you're going to drink, and you're going to relax. You can talk to me if you want but I won't push you to Lena." Monte said as she put her hand on Lena's leg. Lena could hear concern in the brunette's voice. "Thank you."

Monte kept her hand on Lena's leg absentmindedly rubbing her thumb slowly back and forth in a reassuring way. This comforted Lena, she reached down and put her hand in Montes. They lightly held hands, resting in Lena's lap.

* * *

"This elevator is taking forever. I think it's climbing the stairs to come get us." Lena whispered loudly to Monte in the lobby of their hotel. "Isn't it? It is?"

"I think you've had too much to drink." Monte whispered loudly to Lena.

"I think you've had too much to drink." Lena said pushing Monte's shoulder.

"I have and I think this elevator is taking too long." Monte said pushing the button again.

"I was thinking the same thing." The curly haired woman replied just as the door opened. They both walked in. Doors closed. After a minute Lena asked why they weren't moving. "It's broken" Monte said putting her hands on her knees as she bent to look at the buttons. "I think it's moving." Lena said. "You're swaying so it's moving."

"No. It's broken." Monte said still looking at all the buttons. "Let me see." Lena bent down beside Monte to look.

The doors opened. "Hello." Monte said to the man who walked into the elevator. "12th floor." He said flatly. The girls looked at each other and laughed. Lena pushed the button for the 12th floor. They both leaned against the wall as they rode upwards. The doors opened and the man got out. "It's not broken." Lena whispered. The doors closed and the elevator went up. The doors opened and a couple walked in. Back down they went. They were now back at the lobby. Monte finally pushed the right button for their floor.

"Do you have the key?" One said to the other at the same time. They simultaneously looked through their purses. After a while Monte dumped her purse out on the floor. "Found it." She said standing to open the door. "It's not working."

"Let me see." Lena said leaning in close to look. "That's your credit card love." They both laughed. Lena squatted down with the brunette to dig through her belongings. "I found it again. It's real." Monte said standing. She got the door open. They both scooted Monte's purse belongings into the room far enough to get the door to shut without pushing them back out into the hall. They both laughed.

"If I stayed on that elevator another minute I would had been sick." Lena said tossing her purse onto her bed and watching as it fell onto the floor.

Monte had her head in the mini bar. She pulled everything out and tossed them on Lena's bed. "What would you like ma'm?"

"I'll take your prettiest bottle." Lena said in a serious voice. They both laughed.

* * *

Lena woke up with a splitting headache. Monte was asleep with her head on Lena's chest. Her arm was under Monte's shoulder. Why am I holding her? She looked down. They both had their clothes on from the night before. She let out a sigh of relief and relaxed. _We just fell asleep_. She felt the younger woman's hand move on her stomach. "You awake?" Lena whispered into Monte's hair as she rested her cheek against Monte's head. "No." Came the reply.

Monte turned her head to look up at Lena. "Good morning." She whispered as she kissed Lena's jaw line. She put her hand to the darker woman's face, Lena looked down into the younger woman's eyes. Monte stole a kiss. Lena reluctantly kissed back. Her body wanted it, but her mind kept screaming _no._ Monte's hand wandered up from Lena's stomach to her chest. In one swift move the younger woman rolled over and was now on top of her. She trailed kisses from her jaw line down to her neck. "I want you." Monte seductively whispered into Lena's ear, sending a shiver of pleasure down her spine. It was all happening fast. The brunette had positioned herself so her leg rubbed against Lena. Leaving her body to take over, she closed her eyes as Monte shifted again between her legs "I want you." She whispered in her ear again. Lena let out a moan that was quickly caught by Monte's lips in frantic passion. As the kiss deepened Monte fumbled with the button of Lena's dress pants then unzipped the zipper.

Reality hit Lena with such a force that she pushed Monte off of her. "I can't do this." she said panting. "I'm sorry, I just can't." She said looking over to Monte. Monte looked shattered.

* * *

Lena didn't call Stef on her way to the air port. Her mind was racing. _What am I going to say? How do I explain this to Stef? What did I do? What happens now?_ "What now?" She whispered out loud.


	9. Chapter 9

Lena charged a credit card for a flight. She now rode in a cab on the way home overwhelmed with thoughts. She knew her relationship would soon be over. How was she going to tell Stef? Her wife. How would she react? She imagined the worst. But she also imagined the best-that everything would simply be okay. But how could it? She had continued this... Relationship... This thing.. with Monte for a few weeks. She should have told Stef about the kiss when she wanted to. Now more than a kiss had happened. More than a few kisses had been placed. How could Stef forgive her? They had been so distant for more than weeks, for a few months now. But she couldn't blame her actions on the distance between the two of them.

* * *

It felt good to be home. Lena set her keys in a bowl by the front door. She walked up stairs and left her suit case packed at the end of their bed. She went back down stairs to get something to drink and smiled as she opened the fridge. No take out. Stef had cooked two nights in a row. She grabbed bottled water and slowly walked through the empty house. Tears ran down her cheek as she walked back up the stairs. She looked into all three of the bedrooms then walked into her own. She sat on the bed holding Stef's pillow in her arms then she buried her face into it.

* * *

"Hey guys." Stef announced as she walked in the house with her arms full of groceries. She counted the five replies as she put the groceries away.

"What's for dinner?" Jude asked as he walked into the kitchen. "I'm not sure love; I got home a little later than expected."

"Can we order take out?" Jude asked. "Absolutely, go ask the others what they want." She said with a sigh of relief. She had fully intended on cooking again tonight, but it had been such a long shift.

After a while Brandon and Jude walked into the kitchen. "Did you guys decide on something?" She asked looking up from the stack of mail in front of her, reading glasses resting on the bridge of her nose.

"Yes." Brandon said as he dialed out from the house phone.

"Well, aren't you going to ask me what I want B?" Stef said putting down the mail. "Mom you like everything!" "Yeah, but what if I was craving something?" She said as she took her glasses off, looking at Brandon playfully. "You crave everything! Yes-I would like to place an order Togo."

With a smile Stef sighed as she stood up from the kitchen table. She walked to the front door to empty out her pockets into the bowl. She noticed Lena's keys immediately. She looked from the keys to the upstairs and her heart dropped. _Something is wrong._

* * *

Lena heard the door slowly creek open and closed. She was lying on the bed with her back to the door. She felt the bed dip from the weight of her wife. "Lena." Stef said putting her hand on Lena's hip. Lena took a deep breath and rolled over to face her. Her eyes were red from crying. "My love." Stef said leaning forward to embrace her partner. She could feel Lena's body shake as she sobbed. "I did something very stupid." Lena whispered.

Stef felt her stomach drop as she pulled away from the embrace. She ran her hand through her own hair. Her mouth went dry. She took a deep breath. "What happened?" She whispered.

Lena looked into Stef's eyes searching for words to help her explain. She took a deep breath. "A few weeks ago Monte kissed me." She saw Stef relax a little. "I wish that was all Stef. I should have told you then. I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how." She said searching Stef's eyes. "Then the next day she came into my office to apologize and she kissed me again. I pulled away but she pulled me back Stef." Tears slowly ran down Lena's cheeks. "She told me to let go and I did. I let go of everything, I let go of losing Frankie, of all my stress- I just let it go. In that moment I became someone else." She paused still searching those blue eyes.

"Someone else?" Stef whispered.

"I felt like I was looking down at myself screaming to stop. I felt like I was watching a movie Stef and it wasn't me." Lena said as she tried to not lose control, she steadied her breathing and wiped her face.

"But it was you Lena." Stef said. "Did you sleep with her?" She whispered angrily.

"I told her that I couldn't do whatever it was that was happening, I told her 'I'm married' but her reply was that she's 'straight' and that we both could be 'someone else'. That day I left school early and drove around. I started think about everything that had been happening in my life over the past few months. I just felt so hurt and so angry. I went back to the school and she was there. I kissed her Stef. It made me feel like I wasn't Lena anymore."

"Did you sleep with her?" Stef asked bitterly.

"Yes and no." Lena whispered.

"Yes and no? Yes and no? How do you kind of fuck someone Lena?" She said through clinched teeth.

"I slept with her but she didn't touch me Stef."

"So you fucked her?"

"Yes." She whispered. Lena could feel Stef's anger pulsating through out the room.

Stef stood up and ran both hands through her hair. She quickly turned around "Did you go down on her?"

"No."

"This happened at the school? Before your trip?"

"Yes."

"And you still went on this trip. What happened over the past few days?"

"Absolutely nothing until this morning." Lena whispered looking up at Stef. "We had a few drinks last night and she fell asleep in my bed-" "Why was she in your room?" "It was a double room Stef- I tried to get two rooms but he said the double was already purchased and that I would have to buy a single room for myself." Lena took another deep breath. "I woke up this morning and she was laying on me, I was scared that something happened but we were both fully clothed-she kissed me again-we kissed and she got on top of me but I pushed her off Stef. I pushed her off of me and said 'I can't do this'. I grabbed most of my things and left."

Stef was still standing. She felt like her world had just been ripped open. She couldn't breathe. She unbuttoned the first few buttons of her uniform. It felt like her shirt was strangling her. She pulled at the collar of her tee shirt underneath to get it away from her neck. It didn't help. She took a few deep breaths. "I think I might be sick." She whispered as tears started to run down her cheeks. "How could you do this Lena? Was it really that easy? Just to let go and be someone else?"

Lena didn't know how to reply.

"Must have been real nice letting go." Stef spat bitterly.

The door bell rang.


	10. Chapter 10

"Do the kids know you're here?" She whispered. "No." Lena replied looking up a Stef.

"I think we should keep it that way until tomorrow." Stef said as she patted her face dry, she turned on her heel and left the room.

Brandon was taking the bags of food from the delivery man at the door. "How much do we owe you?" She asked as she walked down the stairs.

* * *

"Hey guys, I think it's a good idea to eat where ever you want tonight." Stef said as she pulled food out of bags checking to see what was what.

"Really?" Jesus asked.

"Yes really." Stef said trying to put on her best smile.

"In the living room?" He asked.

"Yes." "Bedroom?" "Yes." "Bathroom?" "Get out of here!" She said playfully smacking him.

All the kids went their separate ways. "Here's some food. I've lost my appetite." She said dropping the bag on the bed beside Lena.

Stef walked over to the bedroom door and locked it. "They don't need to know you're here. They will know something's wrong. I'm taking a shower." Stef said not looking at Lena.

Stef shut and locked the bathroom door as tears started running down her face. She started the shower. Lena couldn't hear her sobbing over the noise. Stef broke down; she sat on the floor trying to catch her breath, trying to calm down. Her whole world had been shattered. _How could she do this? Why?_ She kept asking herself. She never thought for a second that Lena would cheat on her. She felt like her heart was being pulled from her chest. _This_ _is what it feels like to have a broken heart?_ She undressed and got into the shower where she continued to cry.

* * *

Lena finally heard the shower stop. Stef had taken an unusually long shower. _How can I blame her?_ She also felt like her heart had been broken into several pieces. _What now?_ She kept asking herself.

"Stef." She whispered. Stef didn't say anything as she crossed the bedroom from the bathroom. She walked over to her dresser, pulled out some clothes then went back to the bathroom shutting the door with a snap.

The door opened again. "Stef." Lena whispered again to a now fully dressed Stef. "Don't talk to me." Stef said as she towel dried her hair. She tossed the towel onto the floor and left the room shutting the door behind her.

* * *

"Mom. Mom." Brandon said shaking Stef awake. She had fallen asleep on the couch. "Mom, it's late. Go to bed." He said as she opened her eyes. "Have you been crying?" He asked as she sat up. "What time is it?" She asked rubbing her eyes. "3 in the morning, I was getting something to drink and saw you. Go to bed Mom." He said as he grabbed Stef's hands to help her up.

Stef's heart began to shatter as reality started to settle in. She slowly walked up the stairs.

Lena had fallen asleep. She looked so beautiful. So fragile. Tears trickled down Stef's face as she crossed the room to their bed. She didn't want to be in the same room with her. She was disgusted with her wife. _How could she do this? How could she do this to me? To our family_? Stef got into the bed. She laid as close to the edge as possible.

Sleep finally found her.

* * *

"Lena. Wake up." Stef said in a loud whisper. Lena shot up, sitting up she grabbed her chest and looked around. It took her a moment to collect herself. "The kids are sleeping. We need to talk." Stef said walking away from the bed to sit in the chair close by.

"Stef." Lena whispered.

"How did you get home? How do we do this? Do we leave and pretend I picked you up?" Stef said in a monotone voice.

"I surprised you."

"You sure did." Stef snapped as she ran her hands through her hair.

Lena sat up pulling her knees to her chest. "Stef, I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry Lena? Are you serious?" There was a pause. "You're sorry you slept with _someone else_? You're sorry you _touched_ someone else Lena?"

"Stef, I know, I don't know what came over me. I've been under so much stress-" Lena was quickly cut off.

"And I haven't? What about me Lena? I have to stay strong for this family, for us, and for you. It's not easy being the strong one Lena. I carry everything that happens around here, I carry it all on my shoulders. But I still stay strong. I still keep myself together. I don't break down. I don't go around pretending to be someone else."

"I don't know how you do it." Lena whispered. "You don't always have to be the strong one." She said trying to lock eyes with Stef. "I know you have a lot of stress and worry also Stef. I'm not strong like you, I feel like I can't handle it sometimes." She said as tears started trickling down her face.

"That's normal Lena." Stef whispered then she got up and sat on the bed in front of Lena. "It's normal to feel that way, but what you did was wrong." She reached out and cupped Lena's face. Blue eyes met brown. "I'll just need time Lena." She said as she stood up, she turned and offered her hand to Lena. "You surprised me early this morning." She said as Lena took her hand, pulling herself up off the bed.

* * *

All the kids were very happy to see Lena at the breakfast table. Callie made another pot of coffee for both the Moms. Mariana insisted on making pancakes. Jude, Jesus and Brandon all helped set the table. Lena dodged questions on why she came home so early. She couldn't lie. "I wanted to see Mom. I couldn't be away from her for another minute." She said, looking over at Stef. Stef tried to best to pretend everything was alright. Her smiles came easier as the morning progressed. Things almost seemed normal.


	11. Chapter 11

A few days had pasted. It was now Tuesday and Lena was getting ready for work. "Is she going to be there today?" Stef asked as she buttoned her uniform. Lena has been waiting for that question since Saturday morning. "Yes. She should have gotten back in town last night." Lena said pinning up her hair. "What you did was wrong Lena, but she is just as much in the wrong as you. She knows you're married and from what you told me you made that very clear." Stef said leaning against the door frame of the bathroom with her arms crossed.

"What are you going to say to her?"

"I don't know Stef, I haven't had a chance to think about it. I've thought about just saying nothing. Maybe it will just go away."

"It's not going to just go away Lena. This makes me sick talking about it but you both work together. You're going to have to talk." She said watching Lena adjust her blouse. "With a door open." She added. Lena turned around to look at Stef but only got a glimpse of her as she left the room.

* * *

Summer school was just as crowded as the regular school year. They had hired more teachers this summer and were able to take students in from local schools. As she pulled into her parking space she noticed Monte wasn't there yet.

It was a busy morning; they both had been gone for a few school days. It was almost lunch time and Lena still hadn't seen Monte. She had been making phone calls, talking to a few of the new teachers and filling out paper work all morning. There was a knock at her door. "Come in." She said as her heart dropped.

The door opened and it was Stef. "Hey, have you had lunch yet?" She said walking into Lena's office with a bag of take out. "No, I've been too busy." Lena said rubbing her temples. "Good because I brought you lunch." Stef said with a genuine smile as she pulled a chair closer to the desk.

They talked about Stef's day. Stef described the scene of a car accident she had handled and the endless amount of paper work she still needed to file. "Have you talked to her?" Stef said as she pushed the last of her food away from her. "She's not here." Lena said doing the same. She hadn't eaten much, she felt like she wouldn't be able to stomach anymore food. "Oh really?" Stef questioned as she collected their trash.

"I'm actually surprised because there's a lot to catch up on here." Lena said brushing crumbs off her desk. There was a knock at the door as Stef sat back down. Lena looked to Stef then to the door. "Come in." She said as her mouth went dry.

The door opened. "Oh, you're busy." Monte said looking from Lena to the person in front of the desk. Stef turned around and made eye contact with Monte. "No, no." Stef said waving Monte into the room. Lena looked from Stef to Monte then back to Stef. _What is she doing?_ She asked herself.

Monte hesitated for a moment but then walked into the office.

"Here, sit." Stef said patting the chair beside her.

 _What is she doing?_

"No, I'll leave you two alone."

"Oh, well, I was just leaving." Stef said standing up. She smoothed out her uniform before walking toward the door. She stopped as she started to pass Monte; she turned to face the younger woman. They were a few inches apart. "I'm sure you two have a lot to catch up on." Stef said eyes blazing, her eyes wondered across Monte's face then back to her brown eyes. Monte stood there not knowing what to do. Stef leaned in a little closer as she placed her hand on her gun. "You touch my wife again, you so much as look at her in the wrong way and our next encounter might not be so pleasant love." She said through gritted teeth. Stef looked from Lena then back to Monte. "I think I've made myself clear."


	12. Chapter 12

Monte started to tremble as Stef left the office. The brunette sat down on the couch close to where she had been standing. She put her head in her hands. She had not expected that, it had completely caught her off guard. Lena looked from Monte to the door where Stef had stood moments ago, she was in complete shock. She knew that Stef was the type of person to confront someone if needed, but she didn't think she would intimidate someone the way she had intimidated Monte by putting her hand on her gun. It was aggressive, she couldn't blame Stef for reacting that way, but she didn't think she would use her career as a personal tool.

"I'm sorry," Lena whispered still sitting at her desk.

Monte ran her hands through her wavy hair. She didn't look at Lena, she looked straight ahead, replaying the last few minutes. She clasped her hands together in her lap to control the shaking from her adrenaline.

"Are you okay?" Lena whispered.

Monte nodded, still not making eye contact.

Lena felt bad for Monte, walking into an unknown situation. She stood up and sat on the couch beside the brunette. "Monte," Lena whispered as Monte finally glanced over to her. "I didn't expect that." Monte whispered. "I mean, I did expect it, but not now and not like that-and I didn't expect to see her." She added taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry Monte. I really am." She said putting her hand on Monte's knee, trying to get the younger girl to look at her. "None of this should have happened." She whispered.

Monte nodded. "I'm sorry for putting your family through this." She whispered. "Did you tell her everything?"

"Yes. I'm sorry for leaving you the way I did; I just couldn't do it anymore. I feel so guilty, so terrible for putting Stef through this, but I also feel horrible for putting you into this situation as well." Lena paused. "I told her everything. She and I still have some things to talk about and work out."

"I hope you two will be okay." Monte whispered.

"I think it will take time. It will take time for her to forgive me, if she ever can, but I think we'll be okay in the end." She looked at Monte and touched her hair; she smiled softly and returned to her desk.

"I've got some of your things in my car." Monte said still sitting on the couch. "That's one of the reason's I came by and to check in on you." She added as she stood up.

* * *

Lena managed to leave school early. She had lost focus throughout the rest of the day and couldn't get anything accomplished. Stef's car was in the drive way when she pulled up.

"Stef?" She said as she walked into the house. The house was quite, all the kids were still at school. "Stef?" She said again looking around down stairs. She went up stairs to their room. Stef was sitting on the bed. Her face was damp from crying. Lena sat down beside her. "Are you okay?" She whispered putting her hand on her wife's shoulder. "No." Stef whispered as she leaned forward wrapping her arms around Lena. Stef started to sob. Lena held her until she started to calm down. She pulled away and cupped Stef's face. Blue eyes met brown. "My love," Lena whispered as she tenderly kissed her wife.

"I shouldn't have behaved that way." Stef whispered.

"You had every right." Lena said sternly.

"I saw her and got so angry, I tried to hold it in but I couldn't. I was so angry at you and at her."

"You have every right to be." Lena whispered as she wrapped her arms tightly around Stef. "I'm sorry I've put you through this. Because of my actions this is what's happening. I don't ever expect you to forgive me I don't know that I ever can forgive myself Stef. But I need you to know that I love you more than anything. I can't imagine my world without you in it."

 **A.N.:** I am thinking about ending it here. I may add another chapter to wrap things up. I'm also torn because I have one or two ideas that could throw more drama into the mix. I feel like this has been a good story so far but I don't want to ruin it with my crazy ideas. Let me know what you think.


	13. Chapter 13

**A.N.: I hate author's notes-This is my crazy idea that could probably be a one-shot on its own. I am debating on keeping it a part of the story or separating it into its own one-shot.**

* * *

 _I think he's following me_. Monte's subconscious whispered. They ran into each other on the side walk yesterday morning. They both apologized and continued on their path of opposite directions. Then she saw him while she was picking up her lunch that afternoon and again near her apartment complex last night while she was jogging. _Now he's here._ She said to herself. He was standing at the front counter of the coffee shop looking at pastries. Monte noticed him when he walked through the door. _It's a small world. I'm being paranoid._

She collected her belongings and left the coffee shop; her purse over her shoulder and coffee at hand. She walked up a block. While crossing the street looking both ways for traffic she caught a glimpse of the man half a block behind her. Monte's heart soared into her throat. She took a few deep breaths, urging herself to remain calm. She pulled her phone from her pocket. _Should I call the police? Don't be ridiculous. It's just a coincidence._ She crossed the street again. Watching for traffic as she crossed she caught another glance. He was still behind her. It's _day time._ She said trying to calm herself.

Her car was in sight, it was the longest walk of her life. She counted each step guessing how many she had left. Before she knew it she was inside of her car, doors locked, engine started. She saw him walk past her car as she pulled the gear into reverse. Her hands were shaking. She took another deep breath as she pulled out of the metered spot. Her adrenaline was making her shake.

* * *

"Are you okay?" A soft voice spoke from her office door. Monte looked up to see Lena leaning against the door frame.

"I'm fine." Monte said as Lena walked into the room, taking a seat in front of the younger woman's desk.

"What's wrong?" Lena said softly again.

Monte ran her hands through her wavy hair and sighed as she leaned back into her chair. "I think someone's been following me." She whispered as she fidgeted with the corner of her desk top calendar. "What do you mean?" Lena quickly replied. Monte took a slow deep breath and told Lena about the man. "It could be a coincidence." Lena said with a worried look. "I thought about calling 9-1-1, but I just thought it would be silly."

"I understand Monte, but you should have called. You could've called me at least."

"I thought of you also, you're the only friend I really have in this area." She said looking back down at her desk. "But I didn't call because of Stef."

Lena understood. "Next time call. Stef will understand."

* * *

"Why didn't she call you so she would have at least been on the phone with someone?" Stef said as she buttoned her uniform.

"She said she was going to call." The curly haired woman said as she sat on the bed watching her wife get ready for her night shift. "But she didn't call because-" She whispered. Stef stopped tucking her shirt in; she walked over to Lena and wrapped her arms around her. "It's taken a while, but I do trust you Lena." Stef whispered into Lena's curly hair. Both of their hearts broke a little when the subject of what happened ever got brought up. But it hurt less and less each time. "I told her that you would understand." Lena whispered into Stef's shoulder.

"Why don't you call her real quick? See if she's okay." Stef said stepping away from Lena to finish tucking in her shirt.

Lena pulled her phone out as Stef walked into the bathroom and dialed Monte, after the first ring Monte answered. "Lena?" She said quickly. "Hey, are you okay?" Lena said standing up from the bed. "I was just about to call you." Monte whispered. "What's the matter?" Lena said walking into their bathroom to include Stef in the conversation. Stef stopped brushing her teeth so she could hear. "He's following me again." The phone wasn't on speaker but it was loud enough for Stef to hear. She spit her tooth paste out and snatched the phone from Lena.

"Where are you?" Stef said sternly into the phone. "I'm walking to my car." Monte whispered. "Are you down town?" Stef said walking out of the bathroom with Lena close behind. "I'm in little Italy." Monte whispered. Stef looked at her watch. 9:30. "Look around you, is anything open?"

"I'm almost to my car, I can see it." Monte replied.

Stef slid her feet into her shoes. She could hear a ding noise come across the phone line. "Are you in your car?" She asked. "Yes." Monte said as she started the ignition.

"Go home Monte. I work tonight, give me your address and I'll swing by as soon as I can."

"Thank you Stef." Monte whispered into the phone.

* * *

Stef arrived at the station unsure if she would be handling patrol tonight. After twenty minutes she got things settled and switched. She had been assigned desk duty but talked her coworker David into switching his patrol.

"Hello?"

"Hey Monte, its Stef, are you okay?" Stef said walking out of the station to her police car.

"Yes, I'm okay. I'm home. Is this your cell?" Came a whispered reply.

"Yes this is my personal cell be sure to save my number. I'm going to head over to your apartment. I've got paper work for you to file a complaint. I'd also like a detailed description of what this guy looks like."

"Okay." Monte whispered.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, I'm sorry; I was looking out my window. I'm trying to be quite."

"You have nothing to worry about. I'll be there in about fifteen minutes.

* * *

Stef slowly drove through Monte's apartment complex. She was looking for the apartment but also looking for anyone suspicious.

She called dispatch from her walkie once she parked, letting them know her location and reason for stopping. She was on alert when she stepped out of her cruiser, paperwork in her left hand and her right hand resting on her belt close to her gun.

She knocked on the apartment door. No answer. She knocked again harder. "Monte, its Stef." She said through the door. "Hold on." Came a reply.

Her instincts told her that something's wrong. Stef unclipped her gun, pulling it from the holster. Paperwork now clutched under her left arm, left hand cupping her gun she was holding in her right hand. She could hear movement. It sounded like something being pulled away from the door. She could hear the locks being turned, the door opened and she saw Monte. It was the last thing she saw. Someone struck her on the back of her head. She heard a scream before she blacked out.


	14. Chapter 14

"Stef! St-!" She could hear Monte yell her name but she was cut off. She heard another voice, a man's voice but she couldn't make out the words. She tried to open her eyes but her body wasn't cooperating. She could hear a ringing noise that flooded everything out. Her eyes flashed open for a moment. She took a mental snap shot of her surroundings. She had been drug inside; the front door was behind her close to her head.

"Undo her belt." Said a man's voice. "And hand it to me." He added. Stef could hear Monte's breathing, she was scared. She heard the click of Monte's shoes on the hard floor. Stef could feel her trying to unclip the belt. Monte's hands were shaking and she couldn't get a good hold-"Hurry up!" The man yelled. This made Monte jump, hands shaking violently. Stef heard the click of her belt.

Monte started crying as she pulled the utility belt from around Stef's waste. She heard Monte's shoes click against the floor with each step as she walked away. "Sit down." The man said in a harsh voice. Stef could hear a chair being pulled for her to sit.

She heard heavy footsteps come toward her. "Get up!" The man yelled at Stef. She tried to move. "Get up!" Then man said as he slapped her face. She opened her eyes and took a deep breath from the impact. It took her a second to collect herself. Her head was already pounding. "Get up!" The man said as he kicked the side of Stef's body. She curled herself, cradling her stomach. All the air left her chest. She tried to get up. She put her palms on the cold wooden floor to push herself up. She grabbed a chair for support as she pulled herself up to her feet.

She looked at the man for the first time. He was well dressed; he wore a dark red Oxford shirt tucked into black slacks. His hair was dark brown and his eyes were piercing blue. He was pointing a gun at Stef. A black gun with a silver barrel. _My gun is black_. She leaned herself against the chair. "What do you want?" She asked through gritted teeth. She looked past him to Monte who looked frazzled.

"This has nothing to do with you." The man spat at Stef. He turned to look at Monte then back to Stef. He's overwhelmed _. I wasn't a part of his plan_.

"Then Let us go." Stef said in her most casual voice. The man laughed.

"Do you really think I'm stupid?"

Stef didn't answer.

The man started pacing, running his hands through his thick hair. Stef didn't move but her eyes darted around the room taking in her surroundings. She was still standing close to the front door leaning against an arm chair. The living room was open to her right, a wall to her left that had a window showing the kitchen was on the other side. The dining room was in front of her, Monte sitting at a chair at the table. Behind Monte was a door to a bedroom or a bathroom. Stef looked back to her right; the living room had a sliding glass door that lead out to what she assumed was the deck. Her eyes shot back at the man who stopped pacing. He was laughing to himself. _Where is my gun?_ Stef's eyes started darting around on the floor. She found it. She could see the black handle inches from her foot under the chair she was leaning against.

"Please, just let her go." Monte whispered. Stef's eyes snapped back up looking from Monte to the man. The man rushed forward and grabbed Monte by her hair.

"Don't fucking talk!" He yelled only inches from her face twisting her head back.

He was now standing behind Monte's chair so he could see both Stef and Monte.

"Officer Adams-foster." The call came across her radio making all of them jump. She shot a look at the man. "Give me your radio." He said pointing the gun at Stef. "I have to answer. If I don't they'll come. You know that right?" She said.

"Then answer it. Don't do anything stupid." He said, gun still pointed at the blonde.

"This is Officer Adams." She replied into the mic. "Are you still at the residence?" "Yes." "We've got a 507 at a bar close to the gas lamp district." The call was cut in by another officer closer to the area.

Stef handed the radio to the man. "I wish you weren't here. This has nothing to do with you." He spat angrily at Stef. "This dyke needs to be taught a lesson." Stef's heart dropped when she heard that. Stef looked from Monte to the man. "I-I'm not-" Monte started to whisper. "Shut up!" The man yelled into Monte's face as he grabbed a fist full of hair. "I saw you! You're an abomination, a disease!"

 _This is a hate crime_. Stef's mind was racing. "She can ask for forgiveness." She said without thinking. "She can be saved."

"Jesus doesn't save homos, they always go back, they lie, their filthy, disgusting lairs. The only way we can save our world is one faggot at a time." The man said to Stef. This whole situation enraged her. "This one's a whore. I saw her weeks ago with a black woman then a few days ago with a different woman. Can't even stay in her own race." He said in Monte's direction. Monte was shaking, and she brought her trembling hands to her face and started to sob.

"What if they were just friends?" Stef asked. "What if _we_ are jumping to the wrong conclusion?"

"Normal friends don't kiss."

"Other countries kiss their friends." Stef added.

"Shut up!" He yelled pointed his gun back at Stef. "No more talking."

"I'm not-" Monte began to say through her tears. "I said shut up!" He yelled as he slapped her. He grabbed her by her hair again forcing her to stand up. He put his gun under her jaw bone. Monte let out a panicked scream, he pulled harder and he pushed the brunette, leaning her over the table.

"Oh my god." Stef whispered as he started to pull up Monte's dress. Stef slowly bent down to get her gun. The man was distracted. He didn't notice Stef patting the floor under the arm chair. She found it.


	15. Chapter 15

The second she found her gun the man noticed her. He pointed his fire arm at Stef. "What the-?"

Stef quickly stood up, gun in hand. "Drop it!" She yelled in a commanding voice. The man pulled Monte back off the table. He held her in front of himself as a shield. The blonde was exposed. He fired at her. She felt a searing pain in her side. Monte screamed pulling away. Stef managed to get a clear shot. She shot the man two times in the chest as he fired again. Stef saw the shock on his face before he fell.

She fell to her knees dropping her gun. She looked down at her stomach as Monte ran over. "Stef!" She said through tears. The blonde let herself fall to the floor clutching the side of her abdomen. She could feel the warmth of the blood leaving her body. "Stef!" Monte screamed as she leaned over her pushing both of her hands into Stef's wound to slow the bleeding. "Call-" Stef grunted. Monte frantically looked around. She didn't know where a phone was. "My pocket" Stef whispered. Monte, hands shaking and covered in blood checked Stef's pants pockets. She pulled out the phone and dialed 9-1-1. She held the phone to her ear with her shoulder putting both hands back on Stef's gunshot wound for pressure. "I'm so sorry." She whispered through her tears.

"9-1-1 what's your emergency?"

"A-an officer has been shot." Monte stuttered. She found her voice and gave the woman her address. Monte let the phone drop from her ear onto the floor. "It won't be long Stef." She whispered."I'm so sorry."She added.

Stef looked up at the younger brunette. She felt like she couldn't keep her eyes open any longer. "Hey!" Monte yelled. Stef's eyes snapped back open. Monte stroked Stef's hair. "Stay awake. You're going to be okay." She said looking into Stef's blue eyes.

The brunette looked down at her hand. _There's so much blood._ She noticed blood on the floor under Stef. "Oh my god." She turned Stef to look. She was bleeding from both sides, front and back. Monte slid her right hand under Stef and kept her left hand where it was. She tried with all her might to put pressure on both the entry wound and exit wound.

It had been less than two minutes since the call was made; there was a pounding at the door. "Police!" The door opened and Monte saw three police officers rush inside with their guns drawn.


	16. Chapter 16

"I'm looking for my wife, Stephanie Adams-Foster!" Lena asked anxiously at the nurse's desk.

"Ma'am, you can't see her now. She's in-"

"I want to see her!" Lena yelled as tears streamed down her face.

"Ma'am-" the nurse began to say again.

Monte had been in the waiting room when she saw her run in. She walked over as Lena yelled at the nurse. She put her hand on the darker woman who quickly turned around. "Is she okay?" Lena whispered as she looked Monte over. The brunette was covered in blood, her cheek was bruised and her hair was a mess. "Oh my god." She said as she pulled Monte in. Lena started to break down; she sobbed holding the brunette tight. "I'm so sorry." Monte whispered into Lena's hair.

A few hours had passed. The waiting room was littered with police officers. Lena quietly listened as Monte gave her statement for the second time, tears slowly falling down both women's faces. "It was smart of her to say 'Officer Adams'." One of the officers said to another. "That's what alerted dispatch."

Lena held Monte's hand and hadn't let go, her hand at the moment was the closest thing to Stef. It was holding her down. Lena wanted to ask who the two woman Monte had been seen with but didn't. She wanted small talk but couldn't get out more than a sentence. She needed a distraction.

A doctor came out to tell Lena that Stef's surgery went well. She was being moved to another room and that Lena would be able to see her shortly. Relief flooded over her. They'd been here before and hopefully will have the same outcome as before.

Lena left Monte in the waiting room. She felt like she was walking in sand, each step she took seemed slower than the last as she was lead to the room. Same as before, Stef was hooked up to monitors. She looked so broken. Lena rushed to her side and reached for her wife's hand. Tears streaming down her face; "I love you. I thought I'd lost you." She whispered as Stef squeezed her hand.

Lena spent the next few nights at the hospital. All the kids had been shaken up over the news but they seemed to be handling it well.

"Has Monte seen Stef yet?" Callie asked Lena as they walked to the vending machine. Lena's heart dropped. She felt so bad; she hadn't talked to Monte since the day of the accident. "No." She whispered.

"I thought she had." Callie questioned. "She's been in the waiting room the last two afternoons."

"She has?" Lena asked surprised.

"Yea, I thought you knew."

Thirty minutes later Lena walked into the waiting room in search for Monte. She quickly spotted the brunette sitting in an arm chair with her feet curled underneath her. Callie was right. "Monte" she whispered as she approached. Monte glanced up at Lena; she quickly stood up and hugged the taller woman. Lena could feel the brunette shaking underneath their embrace. "Monte." She whispered as she put her hand to the back of Monte's head, slowly petting her hair. "Hey" she whispered again. Monte pulled away so they could look at each other. Tears rolled down the brunettes face. "I am so sorry Lena." She whispered. "It's okay, it's okay, everything's okay." Lena replied. "This whole thing is my fault." "No it's not!" Lena said quickly cutting her off. "You could have been killed." Lena whispered pulling Monte back into an embrace. "Stef could have died." Monte whispered. "I'm just glad the both of you are okay." Lena whispered into Monte's hair.


	17. Chapter 17

"Stef." Lena whispered.

"Huh?" Stef groggily replied.

"Are you feeling okay baby?" Lena said tucking her wife's blonde hair behind her ear.

"Never better." Stef said with a small smile.

"They said you can come home tomorrow."

"I can't wait." Stef whispered as she tried to make herself more comfortable in the hospital bed.

Lena picked up Stef's hand, rubbing her thumb across her skin absentmindedly. "How is she?" Stef asked. "Monte?" Lena questioned. Stef nodded. "I'm honestly not sure. I hadn't talked to her since you were in surgery. Callie said she's been in the waiting room over the last few days. I saw her earlier and she doesn't look well." Lena whispered. Stef was quiet for a moment then she said "You should talk with her love; she's been through a lot."

"I don't want to leave you here alone."

"You've been cooped up in this room for a few days babe. Go out and get some fresh air." Stef said squeezing her wife's hand "I'll be fine."

* * *

Monte was still in the waiting room. Back in the same chair, sitting in the same position. "Monte." Lena said as she sat in a chair beside the brunette. Monte looked over and smiled. Her smile didn't reach her eyes. Lena gave her a worried look then said. "Let's get out of here for a little while. I need some fresh air."

"Are you hungry?" Lena asked as they left the building. Monte shrugged her shoulders. _She probably hasn't eaten._ They walked down the street the hospital was on. "Is Italian okay? There's a little Italian restaurant just around the corner." She said pointing. "That sounds fine." Monte said.

Monte looked broken. She looked like her natural glow had been dimmed. Lena hooked her right arm in with Monte's left as they walked up the sidewalk. She felt the brunette relax as they walked arm and arm.

The restaurant was a dark noisy environment, people laughing and talking loudly. They were seated in a corner booth. They both sat down and scooted in, sitting almost side by side looking out over the rest of the room.

"Are you okay?" Lena asked looking over to the brunette.

"I could be better." She replied.

"I don't want to imagine what could have happened." Lena whispered. "I'm so sorry you went through that."

"I feel guilty because I brought Stef-"

"You shouldn't feel guilty." Lena interrupted as she put her hand on Monte's knee. "Monte." She said trying to get eye contact. "Everything's going to be okay."

Lena wanted to talk more but she didn't want to ruin what little appetite Monte had. She decided to wait until they were finished eating.

* * *

"Have you been home?" Lena asked as they walked out of the restaurant back toward the hospital.

"No."

"Where are you staying?"

"At that Hotel." Monte said pointing with her thumb to a hotel on the other side of the street as they walked. "I bought new clothes but I've got a few things in my apartment that I need." She whispered.

"Would you like me to go with you to collect your things?" Lena asked. "I really don't mind."

"I don't think you want to see it. I called a company that deals with-" She paused. "But they are booked and won't be able to come by to clean until the end of the week."

"The end of the week is days away Monte. I'll go with you, if you're up to it."

Monte nodded her head as she hooked her arm in with Lena's.

* * *

Monte's hands shook as she tried to unlock the door to her apartment. "Here let me." Lena said gently taking the keys. "You sure you're okay? You can tell me what you need; I can find it for you so you don't have to go in." Monte shook her head. "No, I'm fine."

Lena slid the key into the lock and turned it. She opened the door. They both stood outside of the door frame looking into the apartment. The first thing Lena noticed was straight ahead; blood splattered on a wall above the dinning room table, she looked down, her eyes trailed from the table to the floor in front of the door at her feet. Blood stained the wooden floor. She had listened to Monte's statement and knew she was looking at her wife's blood. She looked back up toward the table playing the images in her head. She turned to Monte and took her hand to lead her inside. Lena guided her through the front door into the hallway each being careful to step over the dried stains. "Your room?" Lena asked pointing to a door off the dining room. The brunette nodded.

They both walked into the bedroom, Monte followed Lena closing the door behind her. She leaned up against the door and sighed. "Are you sure you're okay?" Lena asked after scanning the room.

"I just need a moment." Monte said as she closed her eyes.

Lena let Monte collect herself. She stood waiting patently then she heard a deep breath come from the younger woman. "Okay." She whispered. Lena watched Monte walk into her closet. She came out with a large suit case and put it on the bed. Over the next few minutes Lena watched as Monte quickly grabbed handfuls of clothing from her closet and dresser, tossing them into the suit case.

Monte went into the bathroom and came out with a black bag of essentials. "My phone charger." She whispered turning around to go back into the bathroom. She came back out. "I'm not sure where I left it." She said to Lena. Lena looked around the room, she checked all the outlets. "Maybe the living room?" She asked. They both left the bed room. Stepping over stains, Lena found the charger in the living room close to the sliding glass door. "All set." She said. She insisted on carrying the suitcase for Monte. Lena took one last look at the apartment before closing the door behind her.


	18. Chapter 18

Stef came home from the hospital to a full house, after only a few hours she felt drained and frustrated. She didn't enjoy being catered by the entire family. She knew what limits she could go to but everyone kept rushing to her needs. They acted like Stef was weak and fragile. She tried not to take her frustration out on them; she knew she would be behaving the same way if it was one of her loved ones that got hurt. By the end of the night she accepted Lena's help up the stairs, refusing to sleep on the couch. "I want to sleep in my own bed."

* * *

"I swear my knee hurts more than my stomach." Stef said wincing in pain as she tried to get out of bed.

"Do you want some ice for it babe?" Lena said rolling over to watch her wife hobble around their room.

"No, but I think I might need to go get it checked out."

Lena walked with Stef down the stairs. "I'm fine love." Stef said using the railing for support with each step she took.

It was a quiet morning; everyone slowly trickled down stairs for breakfast. Lena made coffee for the both of them as each of their teenagers helped themselves to oatmeal or cereal.

* * *

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" Lena asked again. "Yes babe, I'm going to enjoy this quite house.. Once you guys are gone." Stef said with a smile. "Please call the doctor today to make an appointment for your knee." Lena said leaning in to give Stef a kiss goodbye.

Stef called the clinic half an hour later. She told the receptionist she needed an appointment as soon as possible. After explaining why, she was put on hold just as the door bell rang. She slowly hobbled to the answer the front door, phone to her ear waiting for the receptionist. Monte was standing on the porch, even though her back was too her, she recognized her immediately. "Monte?" Stef said. Monte turned around. "I'm sorry, is this a bad time?"

"No, come in." Stef said waving the brunette inside.

"Yes, today would be great, that's perfect." Stef said into the phone as she closed the front door. "Okay, Okay, thank you." Stef put her phone in her pocket and turned to Monte. "Would you like some coffee or tea?"

"Tea, if you don't mind." The brunette replied.

Monte followed the slow moving Stef into the kitchen. "Are you okay?" The she asked as Stef put the tea kettle on the stove. "I think I injured my knee when I fell. I hadn't moved around until I came home or I would have had them look at it at the hospital." Stef hesitated, feeling uncomfortable, "So what brings you here?" The blonde said taking a seat at the kitchen table. Monte sat down, she fidgeted with the place mat in front of her trying to find the words for a proper answer. "I really don't know." She said after a while.

"Are you still staying at that hotel?"

"Yes, but they are supposed to be cleaning my apartment today, I'm not sure if I want to go back."

Stef sighed and reached out for Monte's hand.

Truthfully Stef felt uncomfortable. She was conflicted. A part of her felt sorry for Monte. She understood Monte went through a lot and may suffer from it. Another part of her felt angry and bitter; just imagining both Lena and Monte in the same room made her stomach turn. Images of Lena's hands on the brunette's body flashed through her mind making her blood boil. At the same time she felt extremely gully for telling Monte to go home that night. Her mind kept shifting back to those images of that man with a fist full of Monte's hair and a gun jammed into her throat. The sheer panic and terror that flooded the younger girls face. It haunted her.

"I'm sorry." Monte whispered as tear slowly fell down her cheek. "I'm sorry for everything." She added as brown eyes met blue.

Monte searched Stef's eyes. "I crossed the line with Lena, it was my fault. I was selfish." She paused searching for words. Stef hadn't moved her hand, Monte put her other hand on top of Stef's lightly squeezing it. "Looking back now I didn't realize I was taking advantage at the time, but I did. I was curious and I took advantage." She paused again. She couldn't read the blonde so she continued. "Then you saved my life." She squeezed Stef's hand again. "You saved my life Stef; you did the most selfless thing, after everything I put you through. You're such a good person." Monte said as tears started streaming down her face.

"I shouldn't have told you to go home." Stef whispered looking away from Monte. "I should have made you stay where you were. I told you to go home and he followed you."

"He was following me anyway Stef."

"I feel like I put you in danger, I should have told you to drive to the station, anywhere public at least-"

"Stef," Monte said leaning forward slightly. "He had intentions, he was determined, what happened at home could have happened anywhere."

Stef nodded slightly.

"I don't think you could ever forgive me, I don't blame you if you never do but I need you to know that I am truly sorry Stef. I also need you to know how grateful I am that you came to me when I was in danger. You saved my life and I thank you for it." Monte said as her voice started to crack.

The blonde looked to the brunette, the younger woman was sincere she had tears streaming down her face Stef could tell she was trying to hold herself together. Monte moved her hands from the table to wipe her damp face, her hands were shaking.

"How 'bout that tea?" Stef said standing up quickly hiding a wince from the searing pain in her knee. She walked the short distance to the stove and removed the kettle from the heat. She took a deep breath trying to collect her emotions. She grabbed two mugs and two tea bags. She took another deep slow breath as she poured the hot water into the each mug over the tea bags. She busied herself while letting the tea steep. She rummaged through the cabinet pulling out a small box of pastries; she transferred the sweets to a small plate and placed it on the table. She turned around and grabbed the mugs of tea setting hers down first. She set the other mug down in front of the younger woman. Monte grabbed Stef's wrist and pulled her in, still sitting she wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist.

Stef didn't know what to do; she was slow to accept the embrace. Her heart ached for Monte, but it also ached because of Monte. She hesitated before she wrapped her arms around the brunette. Monte was trembling as she started to cry into Stef's chest. Stef petted Monte's hair. "Hey," she whispered as Monte cried harder. She rested her chin on the top of Monte's head still petting the brunette's hair. "Everything's okay. You're going to be okay." She whispered into her hair.

 **A.N.: I hope you guys enjoyed this story! Thank you for all of the comments!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A.N.: I've updated chapter 18. I believe this story is now complete and I hope you guys have enjoyed it. Thank you for all of the comments.**


End file.
